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June 1, 2009
Web Site News - End of an Era
And so, tomorrow morning Ferdy and I go our separate ways. He will go with my daughter Ellie to live with her mother in North Dakota, I stay here in Illinois.
I learned a lot from Ferdy. Watching him try to make sense of the world enabled me to see things I never would have imagined from my vantage point as a primate. Much as I love Boots and Lucky, they don't have Ferdy's need to understand how the world works. He's unique.
But he is also completely, insanely in love with Ellie. When she and her Mom came home from their year in North Dakota, he spent every waking moment watching her, and whenever she left the house he was visibly upset. I can't keep him here for my own selfish reasons.
Back in October, I learned my wife's intention to split the family on a permanent basis, and since then it's been harder and harder to do this. Finally, it became so painful I couldn't even bear to look at the site any more.
I appreciate all the concerned emails I've received, but please do not worry about me. Many years ago, when I first discovered my talent for helping other people through grief by telling them my life story, the friend I'd been helping asked me, "after all you've been through, how can you still be happy?" My answer was "I have Nate for a son." Since then I've gained four daughters, which makes my answer a lot less succinct, but the concept is the same. I'm first and foremost a parent, and that is a source of incredible happiness. Right now I'm going through a transition period, my brain is doing weird stuff, and I'll be very unfocused for a while, but I'm going to be okay.
Respectfully submitted,
Bruce Parrello, Ph.D.
# At Mon 4:51 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Web Site News
April 8, 2009
The Ellie Zone - Friends: What they are and Who they come for
WARNING!!!! Beyond this line lies...
The Ellie Zone
This is a world filled with twisting paths and distorted thoughts. Enter at the risk of your sanity.
The topic for today is Friends.
The way I see it, there are two extremes: for lack of better terms I'm going to call them the Rockstars and the Groupies.
As you can probably tell, the Rockstars are the life of the party. They draw people to them. the Groupies are the people who come to the party. They flock to the rockstars.
Now, there's also the in-betweens. If someone is mostly Rockstar, but meets someone else who is more Rockstar, the first someone becomes Groupie in the presence of that person. Likewise, if someone is mostly Groupie, and they encounter someone who is more Groupie, they become Rockstar for the second person.
By now you must be wondering what happened to the wonderful things we call cliques??? Well, my dear readers, those are the subdivisions, or specialties, of the Rockstars and Groupies. For example:
A nerd Groupie will naturally go towards a nerd Rockstar. Likewise punk Rockstars will go to punk Groupies.
People instinctively want to belong, so we surround ourselves with people as much like us as possible. If not that, then family members (mostly pleasurable family members, of course). Then, we seek people better than ourselves, people who are like us, only they succeeded where we didn't. Whether it's in disposition or life choices, they made it through more successfully then us.
Usually the last group are our Rockstars, and we are their Groupies.
Smile,
Ellie The Gremlin
# At Wed 9:05 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More The Ellie Zone | Tags: culture family friends groups The Gremlin
The Dimwit Zone - Coming Too Soon to a Store Near You
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Because some mistakes last forever.
# At Wed 8:27 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More The Dimwit Zone | Tags: China garbage humor lead littering paper product safety satire
March 25, 2009
The Human Element - Study Abroad
In a recent interview President Barack Obama beseeched Wall Street executives to take a trip to places like North Dakota or Iowa in order to get in touch with the common man, so they would better understand the uproar over the bonuses. Well, my family spent the weekend in North Dakota. Two days were spent talking to the locals, taking in the sights, and attending a local church service. I took it upon myself to poll the family after the long trip back and I couldn't help but notice:
- No one had any desire to raise taxes on the successful.
- No one saw any good coming out of government stepping in and increasing its control of the financial system.
- No one wanted to sleep in the car.
I hope the executives at AIG read this article and realize there is no need for them to climb in their corporate jets and take a tour of the rural states. What doesn't make sense in New York doesn't make sense in North Dakota, either.
# At Wed 6:27 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More The Human Element | Tags: anger Barack Obama conservative economics executive pay family humor North Dakota satire
Force Football - It May Sound Like Fun, but I Wouldn't Want My Mother to Play It
Recently a friend sent Bruce a link to this article about the Lingerie Football League. Now, when you see any article about the Lingerie Football League, you're going to see a lot of photos of the players clad in skimpy underwear with that non-reflective black paint stuff under their eyes. They're all in classic fashion-model poses with windblown hair, and they all look like they're wearing several pounds of cosmetics. There is no question that the goal here is appeal to human mating instincts. I mean, the title of the stupid thing features lingerie, not women. It's very different from a real women's football league.
Now, I'm about to explain why the Lingerie Football League is a stupid idea, and I hope all my friends on the Chicago Force forgive me for this, because I admire them very much, but they have very different ideas about the role of women than I do. This article at ESPN.com is more typical of how they would react. But you see, I'm a cat, and it doesn't bother me to see something that's insulting or degrading to the concepts of sports or womanhood. Humans are always doing stuff that seems goofy to me.
No, all I can see is that if I were a human I would be proud to be able to say my mother played on the Chicago Force but would hope nobody ever found out she had played on the LFL's Chicago Bliss. This is a serious problem, because in the Internet age the past is never forgotten. If there's an embarrassing photo of you anywhere, it will become public sooner or later, and the LFL web site is a treasure trove of ridiculous photos.
I don't expect the LFL to last very long. Eventually, the novelty will wear off or some poor girl will die from a ruptured breast implant (I wish that were a joke). I'm not surprised this has happened, either: it's a natural product of a society that views children as a cost of having sex, instead of one's whole point for being alive in the first place. I mean, if a woman's just there for the fun of it, who cares if she's smart, or responsible, or has any strength of character?
And if a woman doesn't need to be a good mother, then a man sure as heck doesn't need to worry about being a worthwhile husband, so he has no problem with plunking down cash to watch scantily-clad women playing a stripped-down version of football, and so here we are. It doesn't make a lot of sense in the long run, but it's where we find ourselves these days, and I don't make the rules: I just try to figure them out.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Wed 2:11 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Force Football | Tags: cats Chicago Bliss Chicago Force conservative culture family football lingerie sports women
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March 23, 2009
The Cat's Meow - 03/23/09: Robin Hood
That our culture suffers under a double standard should be clear from the fact that we have yet to celebrate a legendary hero who steals from the poor and gives to the rich.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Mon 10:32 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (2) | More The Cat's Meow | Tags: culture economics ethics heroism hypocrisy morality myths philosophy Robin Hood
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March 19, 2009
The Ellie Zone - Relaxation
WARNING!!! Beyond this line lies...
The Ellie Zone
This place is wrought with horror and destruction. Circles are squares and 2+2=18. Enter at the risk of your sanity.
Please e-mail Dad with ideas of stuff to talk about. Frankly, I'm running out.
Now that we're past that, on to the topic: relaxation.
Recently, a friend of mine asked about a good way to relax. I don't know why anyone would ever think that asking me was a good idea, but they did.
I answered honestly. The thing that relaxes me the most is listening to really loud, really brutal music. Now, this isn't heavy metal. I haven't gotten into that yet, even though some friends of mine are trying to get me started. ... It hasn't really worked yet.
But we'll get back to that later.
So I was talking to this friend of mine on the phone, and Dad happened to be in the room. so we're talking, and my friend asks for a good way to relax. I say what helps me, which is to listen to music. And so my friend replies with the usual follow-up question, "What music?"
Of course, I reply with the truth again, I am an honest person after all. The specific bands that I have actually listened to and that help me relax are Within Temptation and Evanescence. I haven't really heard much else, but there it is.
My father begins laughing hysterically and shouts so that my friend (and everyone else in the neighborhood) can hear. Not that it's needed, as I proceed to put my friend on speakerphone.
Anyway, Dad starts loudly singing the beginning of "Solemn Hour" by Within Temptation, a favorite of his. Still laughing, he questions how anything like this could make me calm. My only defense is to reply "The same way severely injuring people relieves stress."
Now remember, any slaughter should only be online, in videogames and such. Do NOT start killing people just because you're having a bad day at work, or your best friend just died. Please. I know the general populace is not covering itself with glory these days, but that doesn't give you the right to "make the world a better place."
Speaking of which, the same friend and I, again talking on the phone, began discussing the said topic. He was depressed, and for some reason decided to talk to me. Seriously. I'm the last person you want to talk to about emotional problems. Every time one of my friends decides life is too tough to deal with, they come straight to me. Why?? It's like God is laughing...
I mean, I know it's a chemical malfunction in the brain, but I can't understand why anyone would want to off themselves. I just can't imagine a life so horrible that that's the only chance of escape. And even then, you'd only hurt someone else, since at least one person cares about you. But hey, maybe that's just 'cause my life's so great.
To get back to what I was saying earlier, this friend and I were discussing why killing all the stupid people would be a great idea. He was saying that we should just do it, and remove them from the gene pool (Darwin Awards), while I was arguing that hell would have to freeze over before we could ever even think of getting away with it.
This conversation continued for several minutes.
The final say is this:
You shouldn't ever kill somebody, no matter how much you want to, because you'll never get away with it. And though it may feel great at the time, you'll just feel awful later.
Unless you're a psychopath. Then you might still feel great.
Smile,
Ellie The Gremlin
# At Thu 8:45 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More The Ellie Zone | Tags: crime Evanescence family heavy metal humor music rock suicide teen angst The Gremlin Within Temptation
Notes from Ferdy - The Gremlin's School Day Debriefing
Every school day, when The Gremlin gets home from school, she gives Bruce and myself a breathless recitation of the day's news. Today's news was that she accidentally got hurt while being beaten up by a close friend.
Apparently, yesterday she was pretending to be upset about something, and this got her on the hit list of the girl gang that pretends to beat people up. Although every effort is made to insure that the pretend beatings cause no damage, accidents do happen. The Gremlin had interrupted her original story to explain the initiation rites for the pretend-beating gang, which apparently had something to do with which of her friends was in charge of administering the pretend beating, when Bruce had another of his dizzy spells and left the room. I, of course, stayed for the whole story so that I would be available if The Gremlin needed to feed me a cheese snack or something.
No cheese snack was forthcoming, but she gave me skritches, and that's good, too.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Thu 3:52 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: family high school humor love The Gremlin
The Cat's Meow - 03/19/09: Spending
If you give money to stupid people, they are going to spend it stupidly.
Continue reading "03/19/09: Spending"
# At Thu 1:09 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More The Cat's Meow | Tags: bailouts Barack Obama conservative Democrats liberals politics regulations
March 18, 2009
Notes from Ferdy - Bailouts and Bonuses
Everybody's upset about the AIG bonuses.
The logic here is simple. AIG needed money to survive, and the American public doesn't want the money spent on frivolous things. The problem is that the bonuses are a consequence of contractual agreements set up long before the current crisis started. There is only one situation under which AIG's hapless CEO Edward Libby could have legally refused to make the payments: AIG going bankrupt. Therefore, when Senator Obama voted to authorize the AIG bailout, he was also authorizing the payment of the bonuses.
This is the problem with bailouts, and it's why conservatives oppose them. A bailout does not change anything about the situation that put the recipient in trouble in the first place. It is, in effect, an investment in the hope that business as usual will turn things around.
Expecting anything else is not just stupid, it's Illinois stupid.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Wed 4:10 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: AIG bailouts Barack Obama conservative economics Edward Libby executive pay liberals philosophy politics stupidity
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March 15, 2009
Adventures with Bruce - Impossible Blast from the Past
Bruce found this on Wolfram Mathworld. One of the wonderful things about the Internet is that so much of the past is now easily available. When Bruce was in junior high, his father showed him a copy of these blueprints. Now Bruce can show it to his children.
The only problem is that The Gremlin wants to build this thing.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Sun 4:57 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (2) | More Adventures with Bruce | Tags: blivet culture family impossible figures internet optical illusions The Gremlin
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March 13, 2009
Catblogging - A Lucky Sleeping Arrangement
For several years now, Bruce has been sleeping in his office downstairs instead of upstairs in one of the bedrooms. This is because he suffers from a form of somnambulism: while asleep, he tends to move around violently and scream. For example, a few nights ago, he had a dream about being kidnapped, and he remembers vividly that when he tried to kick his way free it felt like the kidnapper was made out of solid wood: in actual fact, he was kicking the wall next to the bed.
Anyway, the rest of the family sleeps more peacefully with Bruce on a different floor.
There is, however, one creature in the entire world who is not only willing to sleep on the same floor with Bruce, but in the actual same bed. It is the same creature who, despite his diminutive size, thinks laser printers are fun, it's okay to violate the personal space of a trained killer, and there's no risk from the spinning blades of a remote control helicopter: Lucky the Completely Fearless Cat.
If I had not seen it myself, I never would have believed it.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Fri 6:10 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Catblogging | Tags: cats family Lucky sleep
