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November 7, 2004

EMAIL Hell - I Have 500 EMAILs in my Inbox and They All Look Like This

by Ferdinand T Cat

In Response to Your Request

Your name has been recommended to us as someone who is naive enough to fall for anything. If you feel you have received this EMAIL in error, simply hit REPLY and type in the entire text of the Book of Revelations in the original Greek. We'll remove you from our mailing list and sell your address to a different list.

Do you want to be financially independent? Are you tired of the 40-40-40 rule (40 - 40 - 40 = -40)? Do you want to be your own boss?

Our proven program will enable you to lose 30 pounds in just 30 years by investing in the stock market! This is based on a new scientific breakthrough. University studies have shown that the key to winning in the stock market is not multi-level marketing. This is a completely legal scheme that has already made hundreds of people into overnight poster children for stupidity. With this proven method, you can find out absolutely everything about anybody. You'll be shocked at what you can learn! Don't delay, because other people are already using this program to find out about you! For example, we were able to learn that you actually read these stupid spam EMAILS! Did you know that every day the government gives away millions of dollars in grants that you NEVER have to repay? All you need to do to get these amazing, free, NO OBLIGATION grants is to be willing to lie on a grant application form. Last year hundreds of people used our amazing Guide to Getting Government Grants, and only a few of them were sent to a maximum-security federal prison. Get an absolutely FREE pager capable of storing up to 90 alphanumeric messages when you call the number below, and your family will be able to send you messages 24/7 even if you get sent to jail for mail fraud.

ACT NOW to make our dreams into reality. Just send us lots of money! If for any reason you're not satisfied, just send us even more money! We know the secret to getting rich on the Internet, and when you've sent us enough money, we guarantee that you'll know too.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


# At Sun 10:58 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More EMAIL Hell | Tags:

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Omigosh... have you been reading my mail...?


Posted by: Follow That Star at November 8, 2004 8:48 AM

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