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December 3, 2004

The Dimwit Zone - Dan Rather to Step Down from Carnival Job

Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather has decided it's time to move on from his job as Merry-Go-Round operator at Happytime Carnivals. "I wanted to do something that involved a lot of spinning," Rather told reporters, "but I keep running into the same problem."

HappyTime officials are upset with Rather because of his habit of giving away free rides. According to Ride Manager Glenn Gabby: "Rather is the most gullible person I've ever seen. During the Labor Day weekend, he gave away nearly 300 free rides because he believed a phone call from some guy who works at a Kinko's."

Rather's former colleague, Walter Cronkite, claims the whole thing is a bum rap. "This is another attempt by Karl Rove to embarass someone he views as a political opponent. Dan would still have his teaching job at Berkeley if Rove hadn't tipped the National Enquirer to that incident with the chocolate pudding and the high school cheerleaders."

Karl Rove could not be reached for comment.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat

# At Fri 12:46 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More The Dimwit Zone | Tags: conservative Dan Rather humor journalism Karl Rove satire Walter Cronkite

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