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December 6, 2004
The Dimwit Zone - From the Headlines of the Aftermath
Frank:...with a large tomato. In other news tonight, a non-war topic has seized the headlines of every major newspaper in the country. We go to Sam, on site with the facts. Are you there Sam?
Simons: Simons.
Frank: Sorry.
Simons: Thank you. I am here in the subways to observe the reactions of the person in the street to the missile launch, but as you can see from this rack of newspapers behind me there is only one story anyone is talking about: Why the Democrats Lost the Election and What They Need to do to Win Next Time. This seems to have become the most important news in the country.
Frank: Good God! You're right! We have to go to a commercial now, but when we return we'll focus on why the Democrats lost the election. Wait, this just in. Homeland Security now believes the chemical poison used in the attack is fatal within an hour after ingestion. We'll be providing a complete list of the cities with contaminated water supplies during tomorrow's newscast. But first, we have Nancy Pelosi live from what's left of Washington DC with her theory on how the Democrats can prevent another stunning defeat in the next election. Nancy?
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