February 25, 2005
Funny Stuff - Guest Author
[Unknown Male Voice]: Sonja...Begin...Voice...Record.
[Female Computer Voice]: Hello. Welcome to the Voice Recognition System 3000: helping the computer illiterate post. My name is Sonja. Greetings friend of Peg-Eye Nate.
[Friend of Peg-Eye Nate]: [Disgusted] You're too kind. [normal] Hello world. I'm a friend of Peg-Eye Nate's. He couldn't post today due to a small medical difficulty. You see, he saw how long it had been since his last post and he interpreted that as "doing a great disservice to the populace at large," and his first instinct in these sorts of situations is to throw himself to the ground and apologize profusely. Now, this works when he is in a open hallway with lots of space, but when he is at his computer that only has three feet of clearance bad things happen. He is currently in hospital with a small concussion, but the doctors say he'll be back to normal in no time, in the meanwhile he gave me a list of links to give to all of you. [Comanding] Off. Blasted machine.
[Sonja]: [text only] Invalid command.
[Guest Author]: Let's see what he has here.
Who in the world would want to watch an X-men Parody.
Why is there a sequel? This is just stupid.
What the...? I always knew that Nate had taste problems, but this gives me new cause for worry. Why even consider anything even remotely related to Star Trek? I can see the raters missed the two instances of profanity.
Now this is just pathetic! Asking me to consider two "works" from the same author for the same reason? Is he out of his mind? [mockingly] "Both the movie and the game have good music." As though anyone cares about good music these days.
Now he thinks that he can post the sequal to a movie that he already posted... He's slipping. [Sarcastically] Wow what an original title: Bunnykill 2. How can anybody enjoy anything with violence in it?
What is Nate thinking? First a violent "movie" and now a violent game!? What is this anyway? Some sort of (eaugh!) Virtual pet with violence and profanity?
I can't take much more of this. What's this? 3D!? That is just decadent and wrong! A 3D boy playing with fireworks?! Violence!? Why?!
Nate claims to be getting better as time goes on, maybe he has something worthwhile in his notes for things to come... What the-? "Everyone who balks at the site of blood and gore turn back now. For the rest of you: on behalf of the Carious Weltlings, and the Viviparous Dumplings, welcome to Golgotha." Does he aspire to become a game show host or something.
Who in their right mind would use music from Chicago, and why would they make a "movie" using the song "Mister Cellophane?" Nate is worse off than I thought. Maybe I should ask about getting him committed.
Well, nothing here has enough quality to be posted. I'm just going to have to tell everyone that I am saving them from extreme bad taste. Now all I have to do is [gasp]! Wait! I didn't mean to post all that! What am I going to do?! My reputation is ruined! I gotta get out of here. [Sounds of someone running for their lives at top speed while shouting the name of some hero or sheltering figure. Nearest estimate: Barney.]
[Sonja] Thank you for using the Voice Recognition System 3000: helping the computer illiterate post. I hope you enjoyed your experience, and always remember to use courtesy when addressing your AI. Good Night, and have a nice day.... PIG!
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