The Conservative Cat

Toy guns are considered by many to be a symbol of violence; however, that is only the smallest aspect of a Super Soaker Squirt Gun. Super Soakers in fact have no military value, and few boys lie awake at night thinking they can repel marauding bandits with an Aquapack Devastator. Nor do they provide a substantial economic benefit to the United States, since after all most of the manufacture is done in China.

The truth is that Super Soakers exist because being able to shoot a stream of water 50 feet is way cool. It's not way cool for corporate executives, or powerful politicians, or expensive management consultants. It's way cool for ordinary guys who never fully lost their connection to the child within.

Socialism caters to the poor and needy. Mercantilism caters to the rich and powerful. Only capitalism cares about the ordinary guys in the middle.

In the meantime, start dropping hints about the Hydroblade during the run up to Father's Day. Maybe you'll never use it, but just owning the thing is way cool.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat