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June 17, 2005
Adventures with Bruce - The Most Terrible of All Bio-weapons
As I have mentioned on many occasions. Bruce works for a group doing research in molecular biology. In particular, they're building a database that can be used to determine what makes certain pathogens dangerous to humans, with the eventual hope of coming up with a "magic bullet" to neutralize the things.
Nine pathogens have been singled out as possible biological weapons, and one of them is botulism.
One of Bruce's co-workers explained to him today that people who use Botox to stay young-looking develop a natural immunity to botulism. In other words, if botulism is used as a biological weapon the only survivors will be Hollywood celebrities and people like John Kerry.
What this means is that there is a biological weapon that is biased against Republicans! Consider this possibility: if Saddam Hussein had developed weapons-grade botulism, he could have given it to the Democrats before the coalition forces invaded Iraq. After all, Dan Rather interviewed Saddam back in February of 2003, and Eason Jordan had a close relationship with Saddam. Both Rather and Jordan are mainstream journalists, which is the same as saying that they work for the Democratic National Committee.
By stealing the botulism from Saddam, the Democrats get a two-pronged benefit: they can discredit the President's rationale for going in and they have a weapon they can use to decimate the red states while leaving the blue states largely untouched. Remember, just before the election, Osama bin Laden hinted that people who didn't vote for Bush would not be attacked by Al-Qaida. That's a perfect description of botulism!
I realize that this is far-fetched. But I have tried to confine myself to the kind of rigorous logic and attention to authenticity used in articles like this and this in the Huffington Post. Both articles were produced by people who are much more highly respected than I am.
With that in mind, I'm sure my conservative readers will give this theory exactly the attention it deserves.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Fri 8:07 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Adventures with Bruce
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Sometimes Ferdy just cracks me up. Take, for instance, this evening's word of warning regarding biological weapons... One of Bruce's co-workers explained to him today that people who use Botox to stay young-looking develop a natural immunity to botulis... [Read More]
Tracked on June 17, 2005 11:08 PM
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Steve Pavlina writes of Self-Discipline, the ability to take action regardless of your emotional state. Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul. "We probe you bastards every chance we get. [Read More]
Tracked on August 7, 2005 11:02 PM
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