The Conservative Cat

Peg-Eye: Another problem with him. For the hundredth time, my name isn't Dave! Now, there are dozens of people that are expecting me to come up with something funny, so if you will please access Newgrounds for me.

Alphonse: I can't let you do that Dave.

Peg-Eye: Here Al, why don't you review this Farm animal thing for me... Yeah, that'll hold him for awhile. This is pretty much what he's been like the whole time. He wouldn't even let me access my music player because, "Rock music promotes violence." I only recently got him to allow me to access Conservative Cat, something about being insensative. Now, in some cases I am willing to concede the point as far as appropriate material is conserned, but there are places where this mindset is just ridiculous. For example I can understand how the foul language and racist remarks would make this Jared Fogle Audition movie unsafe for all audiences, but I can't see why Ferdy's site would be blocked.

Alphonse: Dave, I am detecting high levels of psychological stress. Maybe you should take a chill pill and think about Barney.

Peg-Eye: Ack! No I'm fine. Hey Al, look at the cute little lion. The biggest problem that I have with the Family Friendly thing is that some of what I consider to be the best stuff is beyond the scope of what I am allowed to post. The whole reason that I post almost exclusively from Newgrounds is because I like the way that they enforce diversity: namely they have no rules. The entire premise is that any ordinary person can make a Flash movie and have it posted there. The site ranges from a high-brow philisophical look at the universe (Beyond Comprehension) to something that serves no purpose other that to be gross and disgusting (those of you with strong stomachs and are over the age of 21 can do a Newgrounds search for Gollum vs Skeletor).

Alphonse: Dave? What are you doing Dave?

Peg-Eye: Don't you ever go away? Hey look at the pwetty hippo!! Anyway, not all of the things that I can't post are just uncompromisingly low-brow. There are some things like the "Salad Fingers" series that I would like to post because I feel it has become part of the culture, but even though there is no outstanding violence, nudity, or language in most of the cartoons, all of them are outstandingly creepy. They are however very high quality so I think someone might enjoy them. That's another element to the spectrum: a range of quality from the incredibly good quality (rated no. 1 out of over 60,000 at the time of this post) to complete and utter garbage (these are the names of works that were so bad the were removed from the site).

Alphonse: Dave, the hippo said a bad word Dave.

Peg-Eye: They probably did that in order to... Yes! The hippo said a bad word, it's a naughty hippo indeed! Here, look at these bunnies; it will make you feel better! From that post on everything is going to be pretty violent, just to warn you.

Alphonse: They're dead Dave.

Peg-Eye: Hey Al, I just found more Bunnies for you.

Alphonse: Dave, They're all dead. Dave my mind is going.

Peg-Eye: YES!! It worked!

Alphonse: [singing] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, true. Say you love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. [blip]