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August 23, 2005

Adventures with Bruce - An Open Letter to the University of Illinois

by Ferdinand T Cat

On September 8, at 5:30pm, Professor Sam Kamin of The University of Illinois at Urbana will be giving a two-hour presentation on the Computer Science Department's efforts to increase female enrollment. I think this is a good idea, but I can save you the two hours: the solution to your problem is Bruce's twin daughters Barb and Maggie.

Barbie and Maggie workingBarb has been employed for many years as a data technician, and Maggie has had odd jobs in web design and online forum management. Both are honor roll students and while at high school have had extensive experience being the only girls in a CAD/CAM or electronics class. Barbie has been an active participant in the high school science club and Maggie taught the school an important lesson about sexual harassment which took only five seconds (excluding the time the guy spent in the emergency room being stitched up).

These two young women do not need to be encouraged to look for a career in computer science and their extensive previous experience means they can hit the ground running.

As far as I know, the complicated NCAA rules about gifts and bribes don't apply to academic recruitment, and I am completely open for business. If you want one or both of these girls for your University in the Fall of 2007, a good word from me will go a long way. Just send me an email, and I will give you instructions on where to wire the money and how to launder it for tax reasons.


Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


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Tracked on August 29, 2005 6:16 AM

Comments

You called the lovely, brilliant Barb "BARBIE"?!!!
That was an innocent mistake, wasn't it Ferdy?
Barbs tend to turn homicidal when called THAT name.
See-even a genius person of fur like yourself can learn something.*grin*
Barb-NO "ie"-at annoyinglittletwerp
Btw-of course Maggie is lovely and brilliant too.
Obviously.


Posted by: annoying little twerp at August 23, 2005 6:47 PM

Now I'm in trouble. I was the one who edited that post, and I missed that reference because it's my pet name for her.

Since Barb is the oldest daughter, she's named after my mother. I actually experienced some anxiety about it, because I knew one day it would be a problem that there's no such thing as a Maggie doll. Fortunately, neither of them showed any interest in dolls, preferring to play with Legos and other building toys once they were old enough to walk. I would like to say that I realized even then that they were special, but the truth is I thought they were special the day they were born.


Posted by: Bruce the Human Pet at August 23, 2005 8:08 PM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

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