« Comment Spam Weirdness | Main | Wednesday »

August 10, 2005

Notes from Ferdy - Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards

by Ferdinand T Cat

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (also called NORAD) has followed in the footsteps of the NCAA and removed Native American terms from several of its upcoming activities.

Of course, this is only a token gesture. If the Federal government is determined to remove Native American terms then it has to do something about the state of Illinois. "Illinois" is in fact the French word for "Illini", the name given to the Native American people who once inhabited the pristine expanse southwest of Lake Michigan. Thus, not only does the state possess a derogatory name, but it's a French derogatory name.

To avoid further offense, I propose we change the name of the state from Illinois to Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards, which should be much less offensive. I have no doubt that the Senate Minority Whip, one Richard Durbin, who is well-known for his genteel and soft-spoken sensitivity, will be overjoyed at the thought of being the Senior Senator from the State of Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards, and Peg-Eye Nate can't wait to be able to tell people that this fall he's going to be a freshman at the University of Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards. That's what they call bipartisan support, which means even John McCain is going to have to get behind this one.

So get out your phonebook and pass this idea along to your Senators and Congressmen. It's time to stop whining about all this Supreme Court and Terror War stuff that nobody is ever going to agree on anyway and get cracking on the things that are really important.

I'm sure you'll all do the right thing.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat (a lifetime resident of the State of Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards and damn proud of it!)


# At Wed 10:46 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (4) | More Notes from Ferdy

Trackback Pings

» Come one, come all to the 15th Carnival of Comedy! from Conservathink
[Read More]

Tracked on August 11, 2005 12:17 PM

» #99 Best of Me Symphony from The Owner's Manual
Atlas Shrugs points us toward The real war: Seeing past the fog of the press propaganda. Can we expect to win a war when we blur the real enemy because we don't want to have to deal with them? [Read More]

Tracked on October 16, 2005 11:02 PM

Comments

Delaware and Ohio are also Indian names.


Posted by: miriam's ideas [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 11, 2005 1:24 PM

Can't we just call you Flatlanders? It amounts to the same thing.


Posted by: James Wigderson at August 11, 2005 9:13 PM

The following link is to a column from the St. Louis Post Dispatch on the same topic. I think you'll enjoy it.

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/columnists.nsf/billmcclellan/story/49C64A1BA1ADE32986256EE90038B6B0?OpenDocument


Posted by: Mel at August 11, 2005 10:04 PM

The beautiful and scenic State of Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards is not flat! We have some hills that are over 20 feet high.

Delaware, Ohio, and (now that I think of it) North and South Dakota do have the same problem with their names, but they're going to have to come up with their own non-offensive names: Vicious Invading Paleface Bastards is already taken.


Posted by: Ferdy [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 12, 2005 3:46 AM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

Post a comment