The Conservative Cat

Here's Landrieu's comment.

Mayor Nagin and most mayors in this country have a hard time getting their people to work on a sunny day, let alone getting them out of the city in front of a hurricane And it's because this administration and administrations before them do not understand the difficulties that mayors . . . face.

Some people feel that Sen. Landrieu was subconsciously dissing civil servants. I suspect Ms. Landrieu herself intended the remark to be an attack on President Bush's lack of support for mass transit, the idea being that the correct solution was to have twice as many busses, and if you can't do things the correct way, why bother doing them at all?

However, both of these interpretations are speciesist. If you look at the New Orleans situation objectively, you have to ask yourself: what kind of employee hates to do any work when it's sunny and won't do anything when it's raining? The answer is, of course, CATS.

Cats are in fact much smarter than most humans, and if you hire a cat, you don't have to worry about Worker's Compensation benefits, because if something looks even remotely dangerous we're not doing it. We do, however, have our limitations, and driving a bus in the rain is not our thing. Ask anybody who lives with a cat and they'll tell you that we're strictly management material.

Anyway, now that we understand the problem, we have a solution: promote all the feline employees to management positions and reassign the current administrative staff as emergency bus drivers. If we do that, I think we'll see a completely different picture the next time there's a flood.

After all, It doesn't matter how good your personnel are if you're not using them correctly.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat