The Conservative Cat

The Jewish Kaballah sect is very much into numbers, but Barbra claims she's no longer into that stuff. The statement that you can get 5 from 4 refers to an old logic puzzle in which you have to prove that four 4s equal 5. The answer is (4*4+4)/4 = 5. If you subtract 4 from the preceding formula, you get 1, and stringing enough 1s together will get you any whole number. Mathematicians call this kind of reasoning numerology. The truth is, you can play with any number and make a pretty pattern. For example, from five 5s you can get 4: (5+5+5+5)/5 = 4.

The scientific method requires that when you observe a particular pattern, the pattern can only be considered meaningful if there is an explanation for the pattern that is verifiable by repeatable experiments. For example, a person locked in a room with a bunch of matches, a baseball bat, a metal box, a wooden log, a mirror, and a bowling ball would immediately notice that only the cylindrical objects burn. There is, however, no logical explanation for why an object's shape determines its combustibility, and the first experiment with a sheet of paper will kill the theory completely, so our adherence to the scientific method prevents us from drawing a completely stupid conclusion.

To a pre-scientific barbarian, however, the operative rule is that There's No Such Thing As a Coincidence. Freed by this principle from the necessity of confining yourself to rational arguments, if your middle name has 4 letters and you were born on 4-24-42, you can safely conclude that God is sending you a message.

The tragedy is that Barbra got it completely wrong. I've studied numerology, and I can tell you that Barbra's name vibration is 6, her birth vibration is 6, and the number of letters in her full name is a multiple of 6. That's THREE SIXES.

It can't be a coincidence.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat