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January 31, 2006

Notes from Ferdy - A Plan for the Oscars

by Ferdinand T Cat

Everyone is expecting an Oscar sweep by Brokeback Mountain this year, and as a result, the Oscar telecast is very likely going to suffer from poor ratings.

This is a serious problem. Whenever there's a politically correct movie about racism or homosexuality or World War II, the Oscars become a foregone conclusion. I was discussing this problem with Peg-Eye Nate over the weekend. Nate is a member of the key 18-49 male demographic, and he had an interesting idea: split the best-picture awards by category, the way they do with the Emmys. Here are the categories he came up with:

  • Best Picture For Convincing Your Girlfriend You're Sophisticated
  • Best Picture About a Chick With Guns
  • Best Picture About a Chick With Swords
  • Best Picture About a Kick-Ass Chick
  • Best Raunchy Comedy
  • Best Picture That Only Appeals to Film Critics

Of course, Nate's only human, so the list isn't perfect. For example, Resident Evil Apocalypse could be considered a Chick With Guns film because Milla Jovovich has at least one scene where she does pistols in both hands and Sienna Guillory uses a gun while running in high heels. On the other hand, Milla does a lot of beating people up with her bare hands, so it could also by a Kick-Ass Chick film.

Such details, however, can be solved by the Academy itself. After all, there's already a lot of overlap between the Best Documentary and Best Original Screenplay categories, and having to watch Underworld Evolution half a dozen times to pin it to a precise category is bound to be a lot more fun than taking notes on Syriana.

So if you know somebody who works for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, pass on my little suggestion and I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

In the meantime, Bruce wants to watch Elektra again and I have to help.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


# At Tue 7:58 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (2) | More Notes from Ferdy

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"Brokeback Mountain" has been in the news a lot lately. . . . I'll just refer to the movie as BM. And no, I won't make a joke about that. So here is the best of the "BM Blogging" I've seen so far. [Read More]

Tracked on February 6, 2006 6:16 AM

Comments

I stand in awe of the Hollywood left that so wants our guns to be confiscated - and how much they love to glamorize them.

At my age and mindset -an Oscar to me is about a fish or one of the Odd Couples or a guy named Levant(?)

Films (I call them movies from my Gene Autrey Days)
I've seen in the last 10 -20 years are Titanic (looking for authenticity -was disappointed) and the {Passion Of the Christ) I'm waiting for the sequel.

Oh Yes -my favorite all time movie -"The African Queen"


Posted by: DL at February 1, 2006 7:33 AM

Hmmm if those were the categories, then Joss Whedon would sweep the Oscars every single year.

Sounds like a good idea to me!


Posted by: PlutosDad [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 1, 2006 12:11 PM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

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