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February 17, 2006

Adventures with Bruce - An Open Letter to the Sargento's Cheese Company

by Ferdinand T Cat

Dear Sir, Madam, or Whatever

In modern America it is no longer possible to assume that women do all the grocery shopping. A typical Twenty-First Century grocery store is filled with husbands and fathers with only a vague idea of how to tell the difference between and orange and a tangerine, and who naively wander into the aisle marked Tomato Products looking for pizza sauce.

Your mozzarella cheese is very important to me, but compared to my pet Bruce, the guys looking for rubber gloves in the Rubber Products section are geniuses. As a result, when you switched your packaging from green bags to red bags, it very nearly precipitated a major culinary crisis here at home.

Every day Bruce receives hundreds of messages about lesbian speed dating and women-only protest marches. I think he would feel a lot less apprehensive about opening his inbox if there were a chance it would have something useful in it.

So the next time you decide to disguise your products with a new packaging scheme, send us an EMAIL first. If you're unsure about using the return address on this message, you can find all of Bruce's email adresses on the opt-in list for the Chicago Lesbian Athletic League.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


# At Fri 11:15 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Adventures with Bruce

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Ferdy, I feel your pain. We are out of cheese and the Troll claims to be too busy to go shopping for my favorite brand.

She is lucky I let her scratch my ears today.


Posted by: Gigolo Kitty at February 18, 2006 1:25 AM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

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