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February 17, 2006

The Dimwit Zone - Here's How to Solve That Embarassing Problem

by Ferdinand T Cat

Bruce spent much of yesterday listening to a local music radio station, and I noticed there were a lot of commercials for a serious problem that must be affecting a whole lot of men out there. Unfortunately, the commercials appear to be peddling a pill. Guys, pills are a squishy liberal way of dealing with problems. Thankfully, we here at Conservative Cat can provide you with a real solution.

Do You Suffer From Reptile Disfunction?

Many men nowadays find that they are unable to perform their husbandly duties because of Reptile Disfunction-- the presence of large, angry alligators in the front yard.

SAPML.jpgIs a giant reptile preventing you from going out and earning a living? Then you need the amazing Surface to Alligator Personal Missile Launcher. The SAPML's powerful C4 warhead will not only kill a full-grown alligator, it makes sure there are no identifiable pieces in case the gator is on the endangered species list. And if there's more than one gator, you can order extra missiles for half the cost of a complete unit.

The SAPML is more effective than any pill. No matter how much bigger and stronger those pills make you, it can't compare to the thrill of turning a carnivorous reptile into a thin layer of pink applesauce. So hang up that phone and delete those pesky EMAILs: let the SAPML end your reptile disfunction once and for all.

Must be 21 or older and have no criminal record. Not responsible for loss of life or limb caused by pointing the SAPML at a police officer or trying to hide it in your pants at an airport security checkpoint. This offer void in states where the ACLU is more important than the Second Amendment.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat

Trackposted to Don "Kick-Ass" Surber, Is It Just Heat-Seeking Missiles?, News, Interesting, Firearms, Customer Ammunition Com, Quietly Making Gunshots, Third World Bazookas, Aiming Out Loud, ImagineKitty, and Right Wing Explosives.

# At Fri 1:29 AM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More The Dimwit Zone

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Tracked on February 17, 2006 11:08 PM

» Carnival of Cordite #49 from Resistance is futile!
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Tracked on February 24, 2006 7:40 PM

Comments

Yep, that stuff works! If the doc says I'm 'impotent' I'm going to act important. lgp


Posted by: Lyn at February 17, 2006 8:47 AM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

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