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March 1, 2006

Adventures with Bruce - Bruce Learns How to Be a Good Employee

by Ferdinand T Cat

Bruce has been spending the day taking training courses required by the lab at which he works. The lab makes the courses available over the Internet, which is convenient because it means I can read over his shoulder and make snide remarks.

what nonelectricians can doThis is one of my favorite slides. It lists the things that you're allowed to do if you have no electrical training. I of course immediately noticed that "operate electrical equipment" was missing from the list, and therefore Bruce needed a qualified electrician to type all his papers for him. He was not grateful at all for this unsolicited advice.

One of the courses is about counter-terrorism, and there's a whole section devoted to making sure laboratory secrets don't get into the wrong hands. Bruce's group works with people all over the world and publishes its results on the Internet, so he figured this wasn't a very important concern. That's before we saw a slide with this quote on it.

Espionage activity is an essential way for France to keep abreast of international commerce and technology. Of course, it was directed against the United States as well as others. You must remember that while we are allies in defense matters, we are also economic competitors in the world.

One of the applications of Bruce's project is to help tailor industrial bacteria-- genetically engineered organisms that produce useful chemicals as waste products. The highest-priority task is developing a pathogen to create ethanol for use as a motor fuel. It's no big deal if Al-Qaeda gets hold of this technology, but espionage is not just about Arab terrorists, it's also about French manufacturers! If the French get their hands on ethanol-producing bacteria, there would be nothing to stop them from using it to make cheaper wines!

It gets worse. We all know about the tendency of certain elements of French society to engage in automotive arson. If people can get roaring drunk on just pennies a day, it would not be a major stretch for disgruntled youths to reach a state where they could set a car on fire with nothing more than a lit match and a hefty sneeze. That puts a whole new light on that poster outside Bruce's office that says It takes only a small spark to ignite your adversary's interest.

So don't be like Bruce and assume that you don't need to worry about international espionage. In the modern world, even a little knowledge can be dangerous.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


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This lab is in Chicago? I'm surprised. you better not let the electricians union see that, they're letting people plug stuff in! That's anti union!

When I worked at Motorola we were going crazy because the power kept going out. After many calls to the facilities dept, we finally figured out someone on the other side of the wall had their own coffee maker. Whenever it turned on it knocked out the whole section. I guess coffee makers use a lot of amps. (if amps is the right word). They were not happy since people were not allowed to do that.


Posted by: PlutosDad Author Profile Page at March 1, 2006 1:07 PM

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