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May 2, 2006
Confused Americans for Truth - Boycott Shows the Power of Fuzzy Thinking
By Saturday afternoon, with the governor of California and various food-distribution companies supporting the Mayday Boycott, the actual events of the day ceased to be relevant to whether or not the Boycott was a success. Obviously, there are a lot of people benefitting from illegal immigration.
Just as obviously, none of this makes any sense. If, as some protestors are demanding, illegals gain the full rights of citizenship, the economic advantage businesses gain from hiring them melts away.
But as goofy as the protestors are, they are a whole order of magnitude more sensible than the pundits, who are approaching the problem using a word that has no right to exist in rational discourse-- criminalization.
The idea is that there are laws that are okay to break, and it's unfair to enforce them. Bringing illegal immigration into the daylight removes the leverage employers have over them. Making it a felony means the employers would be taking a greater risk. Decriminalization allows you to reap the benefits of breaking the law without worrying about the consequences.
There's only one solution for a problem like this: a Senate Investigation. To insure complete fairness, the investigating committee should consist of only the most liberal senators, and to insure the investigation gets the attention it deserves, they should spend at least eight hours a day interviewing witnesses. This means, of course, that they will be unable to block judges, interfere with the War on Terror, or impose punitive tax increases, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
I think Senator Kerry should be the point man on this. Simply explain to him that if people think too much about illegal immigration, it will suffer the same fate as his Presidential campaign. Just drop the phrase "Legal Immigrants for Truth" somewhere into the discussion and you'll have him eating out of your hand.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
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