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June 25, 2006
Confused Americans for Truth - The Recent History of John Murtha's Brain
One of the biggest problems humans have is your belief that you are creatures of reason. It is true that your ability to reason is far superior to that of any species on Earth save one, but it is also true that out of the 210 million years of evolution leading to the modern brain, 200 of them were spent figuring out how to learn, and the reasoning thing was by comparison only an afterthought. The result is that while the reasoning part of the brain hums along all unknowing, the primitive part is constantly plotting how to turn actions into pleasurable results.
John Murtha is an excellent example of this problem. You can argue that his early speeches on Iraq were based on a misinterpretation of the data, but the conclusions were at least worthy of discussion, and they were based on a respect for his fellow soldiers. The problem is, while the sapient part of his brain was drafting war policy, the primitive learning parts underneath were forming the equation
(opposing the war) = (huge media coverage)
The first sign that Murtha's primitive urges were taking its toll was his frenzy about an alleged Haditha cover-up. His description in late May of a military rotten to the core was a far cry from his careful, sober press release earlier in the month. Then, in early June, he announced he wanted the Majority Leader job in 2007. This was a bold move, and got him a lot of headlines, but the announcement vaporized almost immediately due to the untimely death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Murtha's response to al-Zarqawi's death was the first concrete sign the reasoning part of his brain had lost control: prior to Zarqawi's death, our poor intelligence resources and lack of progress were proof that we needed to pull out as soon as possible. After Zarqawi's death, however, Murtha announced that we can now pull out because we're making so much progress.
Let me pause to clarify Murtha's position as of June 20
- If we make progress in Iraq, the job is done and it's time to pull out.
- If we're not making progress, then the job is too much for us and it's time to pull out.
At some level, the beleaguered reasoning part of Murtha's brain must comprehend that the above two premises lead to the conclusion that our reason for leaving Iraq has nothing to do with the performance of our troops, the mis-steps of the Bush Administration, or even the complexity of the mission. Nonetheless, withdrawing from public view to gather one's thoughts is not possible when the primitive brain demands a fresh hit from the opiate of press coverage. So it is that yesterday, at a humble town meeting in North Miami, John Murtha resorted to the last, desperate refuge of those who have forever left sense and sensibility behind:
Murtha says U.S. poses top threat to world peace
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Sun 11:57 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (8) | More Confused Americans for Truth | Tags: Abu Musab al-Zarqawi conservative Haditha humor Iraq John Murtha learning reasoning satire
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Comments
Posted by: AShiningCity at June 26, 2006 4:33 PM
Posted by: Angel 
at June 26, 2006 6:46 PM
Posted by: Mastiff at June 27, 2006 12:28 AM
This story has taken so many twists and turns, if you blink, you'll miss the next turn.
New developments are being being tracked at this news site:
http://theinfozone.net/JohnMurtha.html
A notable development: The original Sun-Sentinel's article written by Elizabeth Baier, has been removed from their site and replaced with Ms. Baier's revised story.
If any of you bookmarked Sun-Sentinel's original article that has made them famous for their "the shot heard around the world", check your bookmarked page now. The significance of this is rather overwhelming. This weeks' hysteria, and subsequent retractions and corrections is over something that "never happened".
Interesting to note, it retains the original publication date June 25, 2006, and The Sun-Sentinel did not note this story is a revision.
Cliff Hancuff
The World of Journalism is Flat, Too
Posted by: chancuff at July 2, 2006 5:53 AM
Instead, they all went ahead in a blind rush and voted for war. One or even two months delay would have not made one iota of difference in the Iraq issue.
All the Johnny Come Lately sputtering is just that, piss poor politicospeak crapola sputtering. Dead people cannot be brought back to life and the maimed cannot regrow arms and legs.
As far as I'm concerned they can take the Democrats, Republicans, and all the splinter parties, toss them in the John and flush em down the sewer where they belong.
Vote independent. Think for yourself. Challange all incumbants! Vote for someone you personally like...not some groomed poodle, party hack that will ditto what's been going on in this nation for the past 45 years!
Its either that or keep on electing doddering fools that haven't had a fresh original idea in their heads in decades and can't find their way to the bathroom, and/or keep whining "I voted for the lesser of two evils."
This nation needs people in elected offices that work for their local, county, state and national constituancy NOT THEMSELVES and their elite favorites.
Agree or disagree? I don't give a tinkers damn.
Posted by: Tom at August 25, 2006 10:31 AM
I can't say enough good things about what Brooks Jackson did with my original TRUTH FROM AN HONEST MAN pamphlet I loaned him.
My great, great, grandfather, who I am named in honor of, made the supreme sacrifice for our country in Lincoln's Union Army serving Stonewall Jackson his only defeat in the Civil War.
Diana Irey has "cut&run" from her use of this Lincoln quote. Write her "handler" Bill Pascoe at bill@irey.com and ask him. He's the one who arranged this "runaway!"
Cliff Hancuff
The World of Journalism Is Flat, Too
Posted by: chancuff at August 26, 2006 11:18 PM
http://community.cnhi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/38410611/m/589102094
Cliff Hancuff
The World of Journalism Is Flat, Too
Posted by: cli at September 4, 2006 12:24 AM
http://community.cnhi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/38410611/m/589102094
Cliff Hancuff
The World of Journalism Is Flat, Too
Posted by: Cliff Hancuff at September 4, 2006 12:26 AM
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