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June 17, 2006

Confused Americans for Truth - The Democrats Take Off in a New Direction

by Ferdinand T Cat

I know what some of you are thinking. You're saying to yourself Maybe the new direction is North! They're all going to move to Canada! Sorry, but it's a purely rhetorical direction, and as Don Surber points out, it's not really all that new.

As a service to those of you who do not want to see pictures of Nancy Pelosi, I've included the verbatim plan below.

A NEW DIRECTION FOR AMERICA


Democrats offer a New Direction, putting the common good of all Americans first for a change and will:

Make Health Care More Affordable: Fix the prescription drug program by putting people ahead of drug companies and HMO’s, eliminating wasteful subsidies, negotiating lower drug prices and ensuring the program works for all seniors; invest in stem cell and other medical research.

Lower Gas Prices and Achieve Energy Independence: Crack down on price gouging; eliminate billions in subsidies for oil and gas companies and use the savings to provide consumer relief and develop American alternatives, including biofuels; promote energy efficient technology.

Help Working Families: Raise the minimum wage; repeal tax giveaways that encourage companies to move jobs overseas.

Cut College Costs: Make college tuition deductible from taxes; expand Pell grants and slash student loan costs.

Ensure Dignified Retirement: Prevent the privatization of Social Security; expand savings incentives; and ensure pension fairness.

Require Fiscal Responsibility: Restore the budget discipline of the 1990s that helped eliminate deficits and spur record economic growth.

To read more about Democrats’ New Direction for America click here: http://www.democraticleader.house.gov/...

Please note that if you click on the link to read more about the New Direction, you're taken to a PDF with exactly the same text but in a different format. In addition, you get a second page full of complaints about the Bush Administration.

Conspicuously absent is anything about the War on Terror. Of course, the New Direction is straight back into the Clinton years, so we'll have the option of pretending that 9/11 hasn't happened yet.

Over the course of the next week, a lot of conservative pundits will be analyzing the New Direction and pointing out which items make sense and which are just plain silly. I want to offer something different, so without further ado here is the first Comprehensive Statistical Analysis of the Democrat New Direction.

IngredientWord CountExample
Packaging43Democrats Offer a New Direction
Negative Attacks19putting the common good of all Americans first for a change
Glittering Generalities34ensuring the program works for all seniors
Economic Warfare38negotiating lower drug prices
Targeted Tax Cuts6Make college tuition deductible from taxes
New Subsidies17invest in stem cell research
Cruelty to Dead Horses6Prevent the privatization of social security
Pointless Hyperlinks13To read more about Democrats' New Direction
Leftover Conjunctions and Helper Words9and and and including that will
Winning Ideas for 20060

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


# At Sat 3:07 AM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (3) | More Confused Americans for Truth | Tags:

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Comments

x-llent overview!..thanks for the info and happy dads day CC! :)


Posted by: Angel [TypeKey Profile Page] at June 17, 2006 8:46 PM

Linked to this one..hope u receive the TB. :)


Posted by: Angel [TypeKey Profile Page] at June 18, 2006 9:44 AM

OT

I'm considering getting a feline overlord. I can't decide whether I want to be slave to a kitten, or a monstrous giant.

To which tyrant should I owe allegiance?


Posted by: Tom at June 18, 2006 9:05 PM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

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