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July 5, 2006
Web Site News - In Which I Go On a Hunger Strike
A group of Hollywood celebrities, including Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn, are starting a rolling hunger strike to protest the Iraq War.
In the late 1940s, hunger strikes were used by Mahatma Gandhi to sway public opinion in India. Ghandi was so beloved by his people that they were willing to lay down arms in order to keep him from starving to death. Hollywood celebrities, on the other hand, are immensely unpopular. In particular, there is a serious risk that if Susan Sarandon starves to death, no one will notice. As a result, the Hollywood participants will conduct a rolling hunger strike, in which each participant goes hungry for one day and then passes the strike on to someone else. The rolling hunger strike shows that Hollywood celebrities are seriously committed to the cause of peace as long as it doesn't cause them any real inconvenience.
I, too, am willing to go hungry to promote my political agenda, but I'm going to go all the way and not indulge in any of this silly rolling nonsense.
Until Democrats in Congress stop saying stupid things about the War in Iraq, I, Ferdinand T. Cat, along with my pet human Bruce, swear to stop eating Sargento's Mozzarella Cheese, and we will restrict ourselves to generic cheeses and other name brands.
If you've ever compared the flavor of Sargento's to the stuff that comes in five-pound bags at your local bulk grocery store, then you know what a serious pain in the taste buds this is going to be. Still, I am serious about my beliefs. I know you people all care about me very much and it probably hurts you to think of me going without my weekly bowl of Whole Milk Chef Style. There is, fortunately, something you can do. If you have a Democratic Senator or Representative speaking for you in Congress, call them immediately and ask them to stop giving the terrorists hope that America will lose its nerve.
It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Wed 5:59 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (2) | More Web Site News | Tags: Cindy Sheehan Democrats Hollywood hunger strike Mahatma Gandhi mozzarella cheese Sargento's Susan Sarandon terrorism
Trackback Pings
» Specials of the Day 7/6 from Jo's Cafe
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Tracked on July 5, 2006 6:29 PM
» Commitment from CrosSwords
Finally, a Conservative who is willing to stand up for his beliefs. Ok, so he is a bit catty…but Ferdinand seems to be willing to go above and beyond in his commitment to demand that Democrats in Congress stop saying stupid things about the war ... [Read More]
Tracked on August 11, 2006 11:51 PM
Comments
And for real. NO ONE will notice if some useless celebrity starves themselves. (Not like there's a huge difference in their body weight, anyway.) Do they even have enough weight (ahem) to throw around? No. Talk about an ego trip...ridiculous. Pathetic. Just as bad as people comparing our war to Vietnam....ridiculous.
Posted by: Sunny at July 5, 2006 10:40 PM
Count me in on the cheese thing.
Posted by: Rascal at July 6, 2006 4:14 PM
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