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July 1, 2006

Ferdy at the Movies - Some Memoirs are Best Forgotten

by Ferdinand T Cat

Since 70% of the occupants in Bruce's house are female, chick films are a major hazard. In such cases, I always watch with Bruce as a form of moral support. He needed a lot for Memoirs of a Geisha. While he has no problem with the cartoon violence of the typical action movie, deliberate cruelty really shakes him, and Memoirs is chock full of it. Also, Bruce is so naive he still can't understand why the all-white Depression-era jury in To Kill a Mockingbird voted to hang the African-American kid when it was obvious the white guy did it. As a result, the bit in Memoirs where the father sells the two little girls completely freaked him out. I shudder to think what would have happened had he been in the room for the section of the movie about one of the girls being sent to a house of prostitution.

The movie is based on a book by Arthur Golden. Golden claims to have done a lot of research in order to make the book authentic, but he is closely related to the family who owns the New York Times, so you have to wonder how much of the portrayal of geisha life is stuff made up by Arthur Golden to make the book more dramatic. And if you haven't read the book, you can't know how much was distorted by the movie-makers to cram the novel into 144 minutes of film.

Memoirs of a Geisha tells the story of Nitta Sayuri, who is sold to a school early in the film and is accepted for geisha training because she has blue eyes. As portrayed in the film, becoming a geisha is like preparing for a beauty pageant in which the prize is being sold into slavery. The central dilemma of the film is Sayuri's love for a guy almost old enough to be her grandfather. Old guys are always writing about romances like that, but it's a bad idea: a woman should only date a man who can be properly terrified by her father. During the early years of a marriage, knowing that your wife's father has had twenty years more experience at inflicting mayhem concentrates the mind wonderfully.

That said, there is a certain beauty to the film, and to the film's depiction of the austere, self-sacrificing lives of the more sympathetic characters. When the Americans move in at the end of World War II, you get the impression that a tribe of exceptionally clumsy apes have been given control of an art museum. Nonetheless, what the movie doesn't show you is that most people never got out of the museum's basement. A hand-carved ivory lampstand is much more beautiful than the processed pieces sold at Wal-Mart, but in a Wal-Mart world a lot more people get to sit in the light. We tend to forget that.

So, if you're looking for a story of love, honor, and sacrifice, I recommend you skip Memoirs of a Geisha and go straight to Underworld Evolution. Maybe being a geisha is indeed a noble pursuit, but in today's world you want the young women in your life thinking the path to true happiness involves handheld firearms and knowing how to kick the crap out of people.

Just ask any of Bruce's daughters and they'll tell you I'm absolutely correct.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat

Trackposted to Blue Star Machine Guns, Pursuing Pistols, Kick the Crap Out of the ACLU, Shooting Straight Up, MacBros' Shooting Gallery, Gospel Ammunition, The Crazy Target Practice of Samantha Burns, Comedian Jenee: People Deserve a Kick in the Pants, Woman, Defend Thyself, Jo's Gun Shop, and Basil's Special School for Women Who Want to Fight Dirty.

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Comments

You are such a supportive kitty, Ferdy! I can't approve of Underworld Evolution which is a sorry excuse of a movie. Tell him to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer instead. Now there is a chick who can kick butt in platform heels.

Giggy sends his sympathies to Bruce. He too is much afflicted living with two chicks who don't believe in violence (though the Troll has been known to knee people who get between her and her stash of candy).


Posted by: Gigolo Kitty at July 1, 2006 7:39 AM

Hiya CC..thanks so much for the link..the site name is Woman HONOR Thyself tho..lol..have a great weekend!


Posted by: Angel [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 2, 2006 9:15 AM

Thanks, you just saved me a few bucks because I was going to rent this movie.

Also, love the "Pursuing Pistols". As a matter of fact, I *do* spend WAY too much money at the range. With my teenaged daughter, who agrees with you that "the path to true happiness involves handheld firearms and knowing how to kick the crap out of people." But we already knew cats were smart.


Posted by: Laura at July 2, 2006 11:01 AM

HTML is not allowed in comments; however, if you put in a raw URL (http://www.somewhere.com/page.html) it will automatically be converted to a link.. Also, it is likely your comment will not appear unless you refresh the page manually after posting it.

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