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July 9, 2006

The Girl Who Feeds Me - Teenage Dating Blues

by Ferdinand T Cat

Bruce warned me about the agonies of adolescence, so I was prepared to coach his children through the vicissitudes of human heartache, but he never told me that teenage boys are so DUMB. You can't imagine how awful it is to see one of my girls listen to some dull hunk drone on about current affairs while I'm trying to get someone to refill the water dish.

I know that marriage and family and love and all that stuff are an important stabilizing factor in your culture, but the mating rituals that lead up to it are so painful it's a miracle you haven't become extinct.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


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