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September 28, 2006

Adventures with Bruce - In Which I Predict a Big Problem in the Near Future

by Ferdinand T Cat

Bruce works at a government lab, and as a result he is constantly being bombarded with memos about how to prevent terror attacks. The latest is a poster that went up yesterday telling lab employees to immediately report people who exhibit "suspicious behavior such as nervousness or dressing inappropriately for the season." Bruce suffers from severe fashion-blindness, and as a result wears the same basic style of outfit every day of the year. Also, he's always nervous at the lab because I'm not around to tell him what to do.

The problem is that Bruce's standard uniform of T-shirt, sweater, and jeans really doesn't make sense in the summer, so if someone puts that together with his general insecurity, they could assume he's a terrorist. Today he told me he has a solution: he's going to switch to a turban and robes, because he's heard that in many countries they dress that way all year round.

I'm trying to convince him this is a bad idea, but penetrating his permanent mental fog is always difficult. Anyway, if we drop off the air suddenly in the next few days, you'll know why.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


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Heck, Ferdinand, if Bruce worked for a de-fense contractor they would likely promote him. They call it politically correct affirmative action.


Posted by: PTG at September 29, 2006 8:50 AM

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