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October 17, 2006
Notes from Ferdy - A Possible Solution to the Earthquake Crisis
Yesterday Papua, New Guinea was hit by an earthquake. This makes two quakes in rapid succession. Last year we had an epidemic of hurricanes, and most experts believe that this was due to global warming. It's equally obvious that this year's earthquakes are also a global warming phenomenon.
Carbon dioxide is approximately 50% heavier than normal air. As a result, increased amounts of carbon dioxide cause the air to get heavier, increasing the strain on the Earth's fragile crust.
The next earthquake could happen at any minute, and we don't have time to pass new legislation or implement complicated international treaties. We need something that fixes the problem right now.
I've applied my superior brain to this problem and I think I have an answer. It is well known that putting something in water reduces its weight. Obviously, this would also reduce the pressure it causes on the earth's surface. So, round up all your liberal friends and tell them to go jump in a lake. This will help prevent earthquakes and there are all sort of beneficial side effects that we can only begin to imagine.
Honestly, I don't see a downside here.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Tue 5:17 AM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: conservative earthquakes environmentalism Global Warming New Guinea satire skepticism
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