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November 4, 2006

Confused Americans for Truth - Evangelical Scandals Reveal the Importance of Voting Republican

by Ferdinand T Cat

On Thursday, Ted Haggard, president of the U.S. National Association of Evangelicals, resigned as the result of a scandal involving a gay male escort. Of all the reactions to the event, this one stands out the most:

Don't underestimate the political impact of this story as it may discourage Christian evangelicals from voting next week.

Bruce heard the same analysis yesterday afternoon during a newsbreak on WLS-AM.

The analysis in this case is based on common sense, which means that no attempt was made to find out if it has any basis in fact. But here's something worth remembering: the difference between Republicans who get caught cheating and Democrats who encounter the same bump in the road is that the Democrats stay in office. So while it is true that voting for a Republican may result in the election of someone who is not to be trusted, voting for a Democrat results in somebody who will hang around even if you prove he's a total scumbag.

In other words, you can't afford to stay home just because some rich preacher is going to be spending his afterlife trying to pull a camel through the eye of a needle. That rich preacher is yesterday's problem, and we need to be looking to the future. Staying home is just another way of saying that Ted Kennedy is a suitable replacement for Ted Haggard.

So, when people tell you this flurry of scandals spells doom for the Republicans, what they're really saying is

Vote Democratic: Because we think you're stupid

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat

Trackposted to The Crazy Scandals of Samantha Burns, The Pirate's Drive Off a Bridge, Third World Affair with an Intern, Bullwinkle's Escort Service Run by His Roomate, Adam's Campaign Donations Collected at a Buddhist Temple, The Clash of Money-Laundering Operations, The Right Way to Throw Somebody Else's Medals Off a Bridge, The Uncooperative Whitewater Witness, Echo 9er Check-Kiting Ring, Blue Dress Chronicles, Wake Up and Smell the White House Travel Office, Pursuing Leaks to the New York Times, Dumb Ox Cattle Futures, Is It Just a Disappearing Girlfriend?, and Jo's Cafe, Featuring Tyson Chicken!.

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"Stupid is as stupid does!"
To quote the Gumpster.

And voting for the Dems "DOES" seem stupid.

Great post, Ferdy!


Posted by: N.B. Goldstein at November 4, 2006 11:56 PM

You should turn that into a bumper sticker!


Posted by: Michael at November 7, 2006 6:47 PM

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