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March 8, 2007

Adventures with Bruce - People Should Pay More Attention to What I Say

by Ferdinand T Cat

About six months ago, I generously informed the University of Illinois of an important opportunity: Bruce's twin daughters Barb and Maggie were available for enrollment for a small, reasonable, and untraceable fee. The twins are continuously on the honor roll, are proficient in computing, and are involved in numerous extracurricular activities, including the science club.

They are now seniors, and hardly a week goes by without one or two universities calling offering inducements to attend. It is, sadly, completely fruitless, because it's been a done deal since last October. Now, it's obvious to ME that the sort of young lady who has a tax-deferred retirement plan set up at age 12 is not going to be shopping for a college only a few months before graduation, so it should also have been obvious to THEM.

Apparently, these academic recruiting types don't read my blog. Big mistake.

Anyway, The Girl Who Feeds Me will be a junior in high school next year. She's a math whiz with consistently high grades, is in the school honors orchestra, and plays in a local bagpipe band. She teaches the pre-school grades at our local church, and she keeps her father from doing anything really stupid, which she tells me uses exactly the same skill set as the pre-schooler thing.

So, if you work for the math or computer science department at a university, here's your chance to get in a good word early so you have a chance to get this high-value talent on your rolls. The Girl is made of very stern stuff, so I'll need a higher bribe, but trust me, it's worth it.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat

Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, Perri Nelson's Website, Faultline USA, Big Dog's Weblog, stikNstein... has no mercy, basil's blog, Pirate's Cove, A Few Shiny Pebbles, Overtaken by Events, The Amboy Times, Dumb Ox Daily News, High Desert Wanderer, Right Voices, and Pursuing Holiness, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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