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April 6, 2007

Catblogging - Another Annual Trip to the Vet

by Ferdinand T Cat

Ferdy hiding his head in the Gremlins arms
On Monday we all went to the animal hospital for the annual checkup and vaccinations. I got examined first. The vet said I've gained two ounces in the past year and told Bruce to stop feeding me snacks all the time. I spent the rest of the session with my head buried in the Gremlin's stomach hoping it was all some sort of bad dream. The Interloper went next. The Interloper lost weight, probably from all the exercise she gets trying to kill me. The vet asked how much water she drank, and Bruce explained that she only drinks water from the faucet. The girls think it's really cool that the Interloper drinks out of a faucet, so they're always going into her room and turning on the water so she can lap some up. I've thought of trying the same trick, but I still can't figure out a way to make melted mozzarella cheese come out of a faucet.

The Other Cat went last. Not only does she not complain when she gets a shot, but she doesn't even mind when the doctor feels up her kidneys. I don't know if you've ever had a strange man with cold hands try to measure your kidneys by jamming his fingers into your abdomen, but it is not fun.

Because the Other Cat has severe kidney disfunction (she's had only six months to live for the last four years) the vet asked the usual suite of questions: does she seem to be in pain, is she hiding, is she refusing to eat, etcetera, and the answers were always no. Bruce has a similar problem when he goes to the doctor. They look at his blood test results and turn a sort of pale color, then they start poking him. "Does this hurt?" No. "Are you absolutely sure this doesn't hurt?" No. "Do bright lights bother you?" No, in fact I get headaches when the light's too dim. "Does THIS hurt?"

Anyway, you get the idea.

On the way out, Bruce checked the labels on all the prescription cat foods for sale to make sure none of them contained any wheat gluten.

Of course, the actual experience at the animal hospital is a picnic compared to riding in a car. Great leaping toads, people! How can you stand those things? If I wanted the ground to shake I'd move to California. I don't want the ground to shake. In fact, in order to avoid shaky ground, I am willing to live in a city with daily temperature swings of 50 degrees, tornadoes, and snow in April. Given that I'm willing to make that kind of sacrifice, the least they can do is get me a hovercraft.

Thankfully, I have a whole year until we do this again.


Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat


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Comments

Ferdy:

I'm glad to hear that everything is going well, health-wise. And I must say - the new picture of Bruce is just wonderful.


Posted by: Suldog at April 6, 2007 11:23 AM

Miss Piggy is in full agreement. It has been 8 days and she is still mad, but then at only 4 months, Miss Piggy is already a DIVA!

The Pink Flamingo


Posted by: SJ Reidhead at April 6, 2007 4:02 PM

I think you just described where I live (Maryland, near the D.C. border). They even predicted snow for today, though it didn't actually come. Maybe you should drop by for a visit. (Well, maybe not.)


Posted by: Michael at April 6, 2007 11:40 PM

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