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July 25, 2007
Confused Americans for Truth - Clinton vs. Obama on the Issues
A lot of people come to this site looking for information about how Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama differ on the issues. As a superior life form, I feel it's my duty to make sure these people don't go away empty-handed. So, I have created the following table to help people decide which of these two candidates would make a better President.
| Topic | Hillary Clinton | Barack Obama |
|---|---|---|
| Health Care | Favors government-provided universal health care. | Favors government-provided universal health care. |
| Iraq | Favors withdrawal within 90 days and more money for the troops. | Favors withdrawal by March 31, 2008 with a promise to go back in if the fighting stops. |
| Global Warming | Favors forcing oil companies to either develop alternative fuels or pay scads of money to government projects. | Favors paying scads of money to car companies that develop more efficient cars. |
| Families | Favors aborting unwanted children, starting a whole slew of new government programs, and paying more money to school teachers. | Favors aborting unwanted children, starting a whole slew of new government programs, and giving tax breaks to fathers who don't abandon their children. |
| Overall Goal | Wants to be the first female President. | Wants to be the first African-American President. |
| Foreign Policy | Has experience dealing with evil men. | Wants to talk to evil men. |
| Private Life | Does not want Bill Clinton to have sex. | Does not want to have sex with Bill Clinton. |
Anyway, that's how the two main candidates for the Presidency stack up against each other. I understand that there is actually another political party out there with its own candidates, but I have been unable to find a reliable source in the main-stream media to confirm that notion, so I can't talk about them in any definitive way.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Wed 11:26 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Confused Americans for Truth | Tags: Barack Obama Bill Clinton campaign 2008 conservative health care Hillary Clinton humor Iraq satire welfare
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