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July 27, 2007
Confused Americans for Truth - John Edwards Refuses to Shut Up
I am, of course, mortified that I inadvertently contributed to the vast conspiracy against John Edwards. To make up for this horrible mistake, I am going to upgrade my issues table to include Edwards. I also gave his column a special background color so it's easier to see.
| Topic | Hillary Clinton | Barack Obama | John Edwards |
|---|---|---|---|
| Health Care | Favors government-provided universal health care. | Favors government-provided universal health care. | Favors government-mandated universal health care. |
| Iraq | Favors withdrawal within 90 days and more money for the troops. | Favors withdrawal by March 31, 2008 with a promise to go back in if the fighting stops. | Favors a phased, 12-month withdrawal plan with the help of America's enemies. |
| Global Warming | Favors forcing oil companies to either develop alternative fuels or pay scads of money to government projects. | Favors paying scads of money to car companies that develop more efficient cars. | Favors making everybody learn how to make do with less. |
| Families | Favors aborting unwanted children, starting a whole slew of new government programs, and paying more money to school teachers. | Favors aborting unwanted children, starting a whole slew of new government programs, and giving tax breaks to fathers who don't abandon their children. | Favors aborting unwanted children and spending scads of money to get rid of poverty here in America. |
| Overall Goal | Wants to be the first female President. | Wants to be the first African-American President. | Wants to find a cheaper hair stylist. |
| Foreign Policy | Has experience dealing with evil men. | Wants to talk to evil men. | Wants to spend scads of money to get rid of poverty around the world. |
| Private Life | Does not want Bill Clinton to have sex. | Does not want to have sex with Bill Clinton. | Does not want to have sex with Ann Coulter. |
I'm sure Mr Edwards feel better knowing he's been added to my issues table.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Fri 11:33 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Confused Americans for Truth | Tags: Barack Obama conservative family foreign policy health care Hillary Clinton Iraq issues John Edwards
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Tracked on July 28, 2007 1:04 PM
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Posted by: Michael at July 28, 2007 2:11 PM
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