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November 15, 2007
Catblogging - The Baby Simulator
I have nothing against babies, but I have decided I do not like baby simulators.
The ostensible purpose of a baby simulator is to convince teenagers to avoid activities that could lead to parenthood. In this case, however, The Girl is preparing for a career in the field of early childhood education, and I'm guessing the baby simulator is her teacher's way of convincing kids to choose a different career.
The problem is that I live with Bruce, who has five children and knows all sorts of tricks for keeping babies calm. I've grown accustomed to the effect of these tricks. None of them work on a baby simulator, which only responds to the baby bottle simulator and the diaper simulator. It does not respond to the lecture on the philosophical differences between the American and French revolutions (which puts even adults to sleep) and it cannot even comprehend the funny faces or the magic song. The stupid thing goes off every three minutes, and if I try to wreck it Bruce has to pay the equivalent of over 200 pounds of Sargento's Fancy Shred. Thank God the thing goes back tomorrow morning.
Anyway, here's a picture of me wishing I could sleep.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
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