The Conservative Cat

Our friend Tammy Bruce has an article about Kate Beckinsale on her blog, and I found myself a little non-plussed by the picture. It occurred to me that my exposure to Ms. Beckinsale has mostly been a result of watching Underworld and Underworld Evolution. In both films she carries a gun and proves extremely adept at killing people with it.

Among cats, the mother has sole responsibility for protecting the children, so a kick-ass female is exactly what you want in a mate. In the traditional human family, the woman stays home with the kids and the man generally works outside the home, so you have a similar imperative. This is why my enormously old-fashioned pet Bruce is trolling for the mother of his future grandchildren on a women's football team, while the enlightened folks who make up the Democratic Party prefer a woman who can show she's vulnerable.

I suppose if you have an entire village pitching in, it's okay to make kittens with a weakling. Superior life forms know better: my best friend in the world would whack me in the face periodically because she wanted me to know she still had the right stuff. Bruce didn't understand the gesture, but I appreciated it.

In the meantime, I plan on seeing Whiteout when it hits Netflix, but I think Winged Creatures will get a pass.

Respectfully submitted,

Ferdinand T. Cat