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April 27, 2008
Force Football - A Cold, Dark Place for a Football Game
Yesterday Bruce and Nate traveled to Kenosha, Wisconsin to see the women of the Chicago Force take on the Wisconsin Warriors. Unlike their trip to Madison, Wisconsin two weeks ago, there was no April blizzard to greet them; however, it was still very cold, and the winds were so high that during the pre-game practice it was not uncommon to see a football take a hard left turn after being kicked.
So, my comment about Wisconsin being north of the Arctic circle stands.
The cold and the wind did not present the Force with any real problems. Four minutes into the game, rookie Brandi Srda intercepted a pass and ran it in for the first touchdown. Later in the same quarter, the Force scored a second touchdown after the Warriors fumbled a punt. After that, however, things began to get weird, because the sun went down and the lights wouldn't turn on.
A game that involves split-second timing and deliberate collisions is not meant to be played in the dark,and it got pretty bad down on the field. There were a lot of penalties, injury time-outs, and one actual fight. Of course, none of this would have happened if the game were played by cats, because we can see in the dark, but cats are more suited to soccer, where not having hands is a huge plus.
After the half the lights came on, and the Force was back in form, scoring two more touchdowns and a conversion. The Warriors got one more touchdown after a pass intercept, and the final score was 26-14.
The Warriors are a good team. When they had the ball, they were able to move it, and when they didn't have the ball, they pushed back hard. The Force, however, is in its sixth year, while the Warriors are brand new. In my opinion, it is the newness that led to the weirdest aspect of the game, which was the announcements.
Several times, the announcer read a sort of introduction-to-the-team thing which featured a section about the Warrors growing up being told to play with dolls and how they're now proving that women can play a man's sport. Bruce said it was like being transported back to the Fifties. Nate, on the other hand, completely freaked out. The doll thing didn't bother him, but the part about women being told what to do by men was completely alien. When he got home after the game, he tried giving orders to The Girl Who Feeds Me as a sort of scientific experiment. The result was not pretty at all. Actually, just remembering the look she gave him is scary.
Here's an important safety tip for any guys out there who want to try similar experiments: the little sister who works in the cosmetics store is not any less dangerous than the one who put the sexual harasser in the emergency room.
Anyway, a good time was had by all, and the Force are now 3-0 for the season. Next week, the Columbus Phantoms will be coming to Chicago to play the Force, and Bruce and Nate will be there. If you're in the neighborhood, drop by and help them cheer on the team.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
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