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November 30, 2008

The Ellie Zone - If Momma Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

WARNING!!! Beyond this line lies...

The Ellie Zone

It's filled with fluffy bunnies and pink decorations! *shudders* Enter at the risk of your sanity.

*tears down the pink and fluffiness* Ok. Maybe not fluffiness. *puts fluffiness back* But Pink has to go.
I hate Pink with a passion.

Speaking of pink, isn't it a common stereotype for a girl's favorite color to be pink? Now, I do know many girls who love the color, but I also know many who hate it. Like me.

Actually, my topic for today is girls. Well, sort of. You see, I now have proof that girls, when given motive and an opportunity, can be very, very vicious.

You see, in gym class at school we just finished a unit, and so the gym teacher had to give us something to do for just the one day so that on Monday we could start a new unit. She decided to take this gigantic pink ball, where the outside was a rough fabric and the inside was filled with air (it was very light). She took this ball, and walked to the center of the gym, where on each side was the class (all girls) divided into two teams. She then began shouting to us (since we were far away from her) what the rules for the "game" were. First, in order to score, you had to bounce the ball against the glass part of the backboard of the basketball hoop. Our team scores on the opposite side, and the other team scores on this side. Normal so far. Second, you can bounce the ball above your head or on the ground, but you cannot kick the ball, and you cannot carry it. Still pretty normal. And finally, the last rule.

You can run into, punch, kick, or tickle your opponent. Anything you have to do to score.

And now, for the motive: the winning team gets seven points extra credit.

She threw the ball into the air, and the two teams sprinted toward the center. I was there too, and as I ran I jumped up to hit the ball, and came crashing into a girl midair.

This was the start of the game.

Throughout the "game", the teacher was encouraging us to hurt each other. She would constantly shout "Come on! Pull her hair! Tickle her! Kick her shins!" and so forth. To say the least, people got injured. One girl got punched in the nose; another got bit; while another twisted her ankle.

I myself did not escape unscathed. I scraped my knee, the side of my elbow, and got bruised in many places. However, I also caused some carnage. I didn't hesitate to crash into people, and I didn't feel sorry when I accidentally landed on their feet after jumping. Looking back, I feel kind of sorry for the girls on the other team. After all, my team won, but we were vicious.

But, as we all may know, a woman is not only vicious when confronted with means and opportunity. Women, as a species, are also incredibly frightening when pissed off. This is depicted with the saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." This, translated, means that if the woman in charge isn't happy, she will make the lives of everyone around her a living hell for however long she is pissed off. And believe me, this is definitely true. I have experienced it first-hand, and again I have been on both sides of this experience. I have been the angry one, and I have been the one responsible for anger. Also, I have been the one not responsible, but being treated like so anyway.

As most know, there is also a certain time when women are to be avoided like the plague. The timing is different for everyone, and sometimes they overlap. But when the times comes, you better be equipped with a lot of chocolate.

Smile,

Ellie the Gremlin

# At Sun 1:49 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More The Ellie Zone | Tags: anger culture education family motherhood philosophy sports The Gremlin violence women

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Posted by: DragonLady at December 5, 2008 2:34 PM