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June 1, 2009
Web Site News - End of an Era
And so, tomorrow morning Ferdy and I go our separate ways. He will go with my daughter Ellie to live with her mother in North Dakota, I stay here in Illinois.
I learned a lot from Ferdy. Watching him try to make sense of the world enabled me to see things I never would have imagined from my vantage point as a primate. Much as I love Boots and Lucky, they don't have Ferdy's need to understand how the world works. He's unique.
But he is also completely, insanely in love with Ellie. When she and her Mom came home from their year in North Dakota, he spent every waking moment watching her, and whenever she left the house he was visibly upset. I can't keep him here for my own selfish reasons.
Back in October, I learned my wife's intention to split the family on a permanent basis, and since then it's been harder and harder to do this. Finally, it became so painful I couldn't even bear to look at the site any more.
I appreciate all the concerned emails I've received, but please do not worry about me. Many years ago, when I first discovered my talent for helping other people through grief by telling them my life story, the friend I'd been helping asked me, "after all you've been through, how can you still be happy?" My answer was "I have Nate for a son." Since then I've gained four daughters, which makes my answer a lot less succinct, but the concept is the same. I'm first and foremost a parent, and that is a source of incredible happiness. Right now I'm going through a transition period, my brain is doing weird stuff, and I'll be very unfocused for a while, but I'm going to be okay.
Respectfully submitted,
Bruce Parrello, Ph.D.
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